The Ultimate Guide to Expressive Gift-Giving in Trying Times

Struggling to find that perfect last-minute holiday gift? I've been there, and in this heartfelt episode, I go solo to give you the inside scoop on picking presents that truly resonate. It's a bittersweet moment as Beth is away, mourning the loss of her beautiful daughter Kaya, and I, too, am on the mend. Despite these challenges, I'm here to share the warmth of the season through thoughtful gift-giving—from season tickets to the ballet that show you've been paying attention, to avoiding those all-too-common missteps that turn a well-intentioned gift into a message of self-improvement.

Gifts are more than just objects; they're extensions of our understanding and affection for those we love. So, let's talk about keeping the flame of romance alive with your partner, as I reveal some personal anecdotes from my own marriage. Choosing the right intimate item, or planning a secluded getaway, isn't just about the gift itself, but the message it conveys about your desire to deepen your connection. As we wrap up, join me in sending out holiday well-wishes and keeping Beth and her family in our thoughts during this tough time. And remember, the conversation continues—stay tuned for more before we ring in the New Year.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Are you saying you faked with me?

Speaker 2: 0:02

Yeah, I just can't say it and it says so cool, I'm not wrong.

Speaker 1: 0:09

Now you're single.

Speaker 2: 0:10

What do you know about sexual relations? Is it true that if you don't use it, you're gonna use it? I'm a little worried about being a slut. You're listening to the Come With Us podcast Talking the good, the kinky and the ugly. Here are your hosts, beth and Erin.

Speaker 1: 0:27

Hey, there are you, holes and holes. Welcome to Come With Us podcast. I am Erin in for Beth again. Like I said last week and probably the week before, she's gonna take some time off. She's still grieving the loss of her daughter Kaya. We want to give her space and time to heal and grieve. Hopefully she'll be back with us at the start of 2024, but we'll find out this week.

Speaker 1: 0:52

You've got me again, just me. It's the Erin Show. So if you guys have anything you want me to tackle I think we have one more episode after this, before the new year Let me know. Come With Us Confessions at gmailcom. That's Come With Us Confessions at gmailcom or Facebook, twitter. Come With Us podcast on Facebook. Come With Us pod on Twitter. I'm more on Twitter than Facebook, but just let me know Thoughts, concerns, topics you want me to tackle, why not? I'll take any of your suggestions, any of your love, any of your hate, and I won't tell anybody who you are if you decide to share, all right.

Speaker 1: 1:31

So today we are what? Less than a week away from Christmas, christmas falls itself at what? Six days now, five days from now. I figured we'd talk a little bit about last minute holiday ideas, last minute gift ideas, stuff you can do, and so this is going to be a little bit shorter one. I'm recovering from being sick lately and just trying to cram this in. Make sure I give you guys something to listen to. Guys and girls, some do make your day brighter. Hopefully it does make your day brighter. Let's find out.

Speaker 1: 2:07

Well, we talk about last minute Christmas gifts, birthday gifts, whatever, anything like that. I mean, I'm guilty of it. My birthday is a couple days after Christmas and I still don't have all of her gifts bought for neither Christmas nor her birthday. Bad husband mark on me, see, I don't always, like I said, I'm not the perfect husband. I'm not the perfect guy. Don't try to claim I am. There's your proof. I still got a scramble to figure out what the hell I'm getting her for both.

Speaker 1: 2:38

But something I will bring up and if you listen last week about romance and your wife, this kind of falls a little bit in line with that but more from a gift giving idea is you want to find her something with meaning, something that shows that you listen, that you care, that you pay attention to the person that she is. What are her interests? What are her interests that she thinks you don't care about or you don't want to care about. Find something in line with that that she's going to like and, you know, is the gift going to be good? Yes, hopefully, knock on wood for you. But also the thought that you put into it also registers with her to know that. You know, hey, he pays attention to me, hey, she pays attention to me. She, you know, knows what I like and know what I care about. So stuff like that, you know, think about the things that will have a meaning and a good meaning. You know that will show them that you pay attention, that you care, that you care about their outside interests, stuff that again you might not care about, like you know, hey, you know the. The ballet is not my cup of tea or whatever, but I'm going to buy her a pair of tickets or season tickets or whatever, to the local ballet. Who knows something like that? I will advise, and I've read a lot of articles on this lately. It's the holidays. There's a lot of articles, there's a lot of, as we say in radio show prep content coming out about what not to get For me and somebody's going to tell me I'm wrong. Beth would probably be here to tell me I'm wrong because she likes doing that and she likes trying to ruffle my feathers from time to time.

Speaker 1: 4:32

Something, not a need, and I know as a guy that seems kind of the opposite of the way we're programmed. Because I mean, when people ask, what do I want for a gift, I have no idea I. I have everything I I want, and then what I want, that isn't reasonable price. I buy. You know, I'm a grown man, I have my own job, I have my own money. I just buy the things that I want.

Speaker 1: 4:57

But and so more times at least personally, when I make my Christmas list I'm I put things I need on there that I just, you know, haven't wanted to spend the money on or haven't wanted to bite the bullet and, you know, just purchase yet. So I put things that I quote unquote need and we're not talking about the actual literal need of, you know, food, shelter, stuff, like that sustenance, but don't try to think of something that she quote unquote needs. The need part kind of makes it cold to women, from my understanding and from what I've been told. Again, I could be wrong, ladies, let me know, tell me, like I said, I'm okay here and then I'm wrong, but I learned a while ago going with something that is a need quote unquote Kind of sends the wrong message. So Just keep that in mind when you're making the list or when you're checking to to scramble and buy something, especially this close to Christmas. So One more, I guess a small group of things not to buy Self-improvement stuff and I know, again, it seems like a duh, I'm not that stupid.

Speaker 1: 6:18

Well, I'm not saying you're stupid, but Somebody's done it, or else they wouldn't have written this article. You know Workout stuff, weight loss stuff. You know self-help books, stuff like those things. Maybe it's on Her Christmas list or maybe it's on her Hanukkah list or holiday list or birthday list, whatever. That doesn't mean it needs to come from you. Just in general.

Speaker 1: 6:47

Now, relationships vary. If you have that kind of relationship where you know you guys are super gung-ho workout people and she, you know, wants a new pair of weightlifting gloves, okay, or something like that, who knows. But if your wife, you know, complains, oh, I need to get in shape, I need to lose weight, oh, don't go and do something like that, don't buy her. You know vitamins or any of that stuff, workout supplements, gym membership, anything. Don't do that. That's stupid. Be smarter than that. I expect you guys to be smarter than that and I expect you guys to be rolling your eyes right now and going, aaron, I'm not that dumb. I hope you're not Not saying I've done that. I'm like to pride myself on that being not quite that dumb, but yeah, so I hope you're not. You haven't thought of that. If you have put it on the back burner, let's, let's not go that far with it.

Speaker 1: 7:45

When it comes to sexy, when it comes to toys For the bedroom and beyond what, you're enjoying your sexy time with your partner, those are something you need to consider what kind of relationship you have as a young man, you know, in a committed relationship with my wife. Before she was my wife, I Did think it was a good idea to buy a Sexy toy or two for holiday occasions. And some people are rolling their eyes and going, oh, you dummy. Some guys are going, oh, it's wrong with that. It again, it depends on your relationship.

Speaker 1: 8:23

Our relationship was committed, but it was still. I mean, I learned stuff about my wife all the time. You know, yeah, I don't know everything about her and I don't you know. I like to say I know her better than everybody in the world, like I do, but that doesn't mean I know her every move, thought, need, feeling, every time. I'm still learning, but this was an apartment or relationship where I still had a lot To learn compared to where I am now.

Speaker 1: 8:55

And, yeah, know your wife girlfriend, know the relationship, know the way you look at it. And Was my wife girlfriend at the time, upset that I bought sexy toys for Christmas? Yes and no, but it was more of a hey, sexy toys, buying Exploration, all that stuff Is viewed as a us thing, a let's go pick them out together, let's do this together. Not a hey, you pick it out and give it to me and then I'll figure it out. So just keep that in mind with your partner, the way your relationship goes. You know your relationship better than I do. Some wives or girlfriends will be ecstatic with it. Some will look at it like mine did and went. I'm not mad, but it's not the right thought process. So Just something to keep in mind. Like I said, know your wife, know your girlfriend, know your relationship, know the dynamic. You know if you don't Spend more time with your partner, look in the mirror, Think about it. Put a little bit more thought into it. Like I said, I know if you're listening to this and you're trying to jot down notes and stuff, you're probably scrambling already. Definitely, at least put some thought into it while you're driving to the sexy store and trying to figure stuff out. Just Just keep that in mind. One thing I will mention and I try to take up too much of your time today, like I said, it's gonna be a shorter episode than normal Something that has worked in the past and probably will work in the future.

Speaker 1: 10:47

For me again, sexy getaways and I know Everybody's budget is different. It depends on what you can't afford, what you can't afford, whether you have kids, whether you can get away, whether you have a babysitter. I'm not saying a week-long vacation in Europe, I'm not saying, you know, a month at sea or whatever, two days a day even. You know, find a hotel in your, in your clothes, the closest big city to you. You know, go get a hotel for the day, night. You know, enjoy it. You know, book the, book, the massage treatment at the hotel, if you're doing it for the day, or Give her, give her a massage, make that, make her the little coupon that says, are you? Oh, like you were going to this hotel together and you get a full body massage out of it, one of the best things and I've referenced it before I don't know if I've referenced it so much that it'll give it away but just like a sexy getaway for for my family or my wife, the, the sexy getaway to the middle of nowhere. That's what she likes, that's what I like. We both like being off the grid, at a cell phone range, just the two of us. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want, and nobody tells us anything. So there are.

Speaker 1: 12:04

There's a company right now that has cabins all over the United States in the closest forest to your major city. Oh, what is it called? I think it's called getaway. What? Let me you know what? Here you go before I, you know, tell you that I'm wrong or tell you something wrong before you Google it. Getaway, getawayhouse. They have my little modern cabins all around the country.

Speaker 1: 12:31

If that's something that you, you and your significant other, would like, take a look at them. That's definitely. Those are on my wife's and my bucket list when we get some time off. But there are also plenty of other places you can find through Airbnb or VRBO or whatever. Find something, you know, just short term. Like I said, two days, three days If you got the budget, four days, five days, whatever, depending on what your life and your schedule is like. Figure it out.

Speaker 1: 13:03

But that's also a good, you know, thought induced and Gift. That signifies you want alone time with her or him. You want to be together, the two of you, and you want that Intimate time together. Not sexy time, just that intimacy to spend with just that other person. No distractions and no other jobs or kids or whatever. Just time the two of you. Something to keep in mind. Also a benefit of looking out for stuff like that is Find those secluded places. You find a place with a little hot tub or a pool or a big shower If you don't have one at home. We don't have a big shower at our house. It's kind of something we put on our list when we go to travel is trying to find hotels and or Airbnb. They have larger showers so we can enjoy shower time together. But just something like that to keep in mind While you're doing this.

Speaker 1: 14:02

So If you're, if you're running late on the gift buying, those are some ideas. That's at least where I'm coming from. Like I said, Beth likes to lawyer me all the time and point out where my ideas are flawed or what have you, where I'm getting things wrong. So that's what I got, and again, you don't have Beth here to tell me I'm an idiot or tell me I'm barking up the wrong tree or anything like that. So take what I have to say with a great assault.

Speaker 1: 14:40

So there's some ideas for you on what to do If you're scrambling, if you need something or just in general. I mean, there's other holidays that come up where you're gonna buy your significant other a gift. Maybe Valentine's Day is one thing coming up, birthdays are coming up, just stuff to keep in mind together. Don't be that guy who gets his wife a vacuum and goes huh, thought that was a good idea. Eh, that's a very risky. That's a big gamble there and not a high payoff, to me at least.

Speaker 1: 15:19

So, like I said, and going along with last week's episode paint engineer partner, you know who she is, know your relationship and that'll definitely help you figure out the good idea. But sometimes it's the idea that's right in front of you that you haven't seen. Sometimes it's something you gotta dig deep and really think about and kinda think about something that's gonna mean something important to her. You never know. So that's kinda what I got this week. I will have more for you next week because I will not be sick the entire week. Between when I recorded this last week, the last week's episode, and within the last you know, probably 72 hours, I'd just gotten over it and had a lot of work to catch up on and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 16:06

So if you have anything you wanna hear, if you want me to tackle something before the end of the new year, if you want just me to tell stories, or you have any questions about me in my life, I'll tell you. I'm an open book. I don't care. Come with us confessions at gmailcom, that's. Come with us confessions at gmailcom. Facebook at come with us podcast. Twitter at come with us pod. Just hit me up, let me know. I appreciate you listening. Like I said, I'm sorry it's a little bit shorter than an episode. That we're used to, but gives you more time to go and think and shop and spend time with your wife, spend time with your loved ones. Go enjoy the holiday. I will talk to you before the new year, but everyone have a great Christmas. If you celebrate Hanukkah, I hope you had a great Hanukkah and also keep Beth and her family in your prayers as they mourn Kaya. All right, we're getting out of here, guys. Have a great week. Like I said, have a merry Christmas, see ya.

Speaker 2: 17:09

Thanks for listening to the come with us podcast. Be sure to follow us on social media at come with us podcast and send in your questions, comments and confessions to come with us. Confessions at gmailcom. Until next time, keep it fun, flirty and naughty.